


You are Bewitched, My Friend

by Pyodra



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Medieval AU, More characters to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-20
Updated: 2012-06-21
Packaged: 2017-11-08 05:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/439520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pyodra/pseuds/Pyodra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tale in which Karkat Vantas is forced to befriend a princess, Jade Harley, who is secretly a witch. </p><p>Medieval shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which Karkat Vantas is injured

**Author's Note:**

> I want to give special thanks to http://apokolypse.tumblr.com/ for letting me use their AO3 account to post my shameless fiction. Thank you and Kisses! u//u
> 
> My tumblr is http://cutieapplepie.tumblr.com/ and I have drawings there and silly things if you would like to partake in that sort of thing.

Your name is Karkat Vantas and you are dying. To be more specific, you are bleeding to death. Perfect. Just the way you wanted to go. Luckily, the bushes you attempted to crawl under has given you just enough cover to hide from your attackers. God damn rogues. How do they get sneaker each season? Though you should have been more alert. Just because you are outside Prospit’s palace gates, doesn’t mean you are safe from thieves.

You cringe as your ribs continue to scream in pain. Oh right. Bleeding to death. Almost forgot about that. You push yourself against a tree to sit upright and examine your wound. That fucker cut in really deep. If you don’t attend to this soon you will either loose all your blood or it will become infected. Which will it be Karkat? It’s your move. Suddenly, you hear the crinkling sound of autumn leaves being stepped on. Shit! Have they come back to finish the job? How pathetic of you to fear a bunch of fucking rogues. You are a knight god damn it and if you are going to die, you better act like one! You reach for your sickle and raise it just above your chest, wincing from the strain in your muscles.

The footsteps creep closer and closer. Your heart begins to pound loudly and your arm starts to shake. This better not be it because you look too damn pitiful to die now. A girlish gasp startles you. You don’t remember your attackers being of the female persuasion. You clear your throat and speak in a harsh tone.

“If you would be so kind show yourself now so I can die peacefully. You are wasting both of our times here.” With a bit more frantic crunching, the mysterious figure comes into view. You were right. It was a girl. She looks a tad younger than you (though you couldn’t really judge on that) and wore an ash colored dress with green highlights. Her midnight colored hair was slightly pulled back into her hood and a pair of small round glasses graced the top of her nose. Her eyes were shocking. They were a dazzling lime green, but they were filled with worry.

“Oh my gosh! You poor thing. How long have you been bleeding like this?” She stood right beside you as you lowered your weapon. Kneeling, she stared intensely at your stabbed chest, fingers lightly touching the fabric of your tunic. 

“Just an hour or so I think... Hey! Fucking watch it! What the hell do you think you’re doing? Back off!” You snarl at her, but she doesn’t move an inch.

“I’m examining you idiot! I’m a doctor. Geez. Calm down.” She completely ignores your warning and continues to examine your body. “Now, where else does it hurt besides the obvious wound here?”

You snort and lay back against the tree trunk. “Just there really. Fuckers just stabbed me and left me for dead. When I see those shit eaters again, I’m going to rip their fucking heads off and put them on my mantle too look at when I want to remember the good old days.” She giggles and continues to work. 

A sudden clap of her hands startles you a bit and you focus your attention on her face. “Alright. This might sting, but I think you can handle it, what with being stabbed and all.” She grinned at your puzzled look. You notice that she hasn’t taken anything out of her satchel or had any tools in her hands, so what is she going to-

Your questions are answered when her hands begin to glow green. Fucking green! Before you can protest against this ‘healing method’, she pushes her hands to your chest and the light intensifies. Your skin feels like it is being pulled and your chest begins to tighten. It has become harder to breath and you hiss in pain. Sting my ass. It feels like you’re getting stabbed all over again. 

After a while, she ceases and you open your eyes that you forgot you closed. Breathing became a thing again as you inspect your wound. You pat your rib cage and it only feels like a bruise now. Looking up to the stranger, she has brushed her brow and sighs in relief. 

“You’re welcome!” She smiles gleefully.

“You’re welcome? Is that all you can say after putting a fucking hex on me!?” You attempt to scramble away, but the tree you have been using blocks your escape route. Why have you betrayed me tree?

“A hex? No you numbskull! That wasn’t a hex!” She rubs her face with her hands in frustration. “I was healing you! That was a healing spell!”

“Witchcraft...” You mutter.

“Excuse me?” She cocks her head and raises an eyebrow. You reach for your sickle again.

“Fucking witchcraft! You put a spell on me and now I’m going to turn into a toad or some shitty animal witches turn people into! Fuck! I don’t want to be a frog! Change me back you heathen!” 

“Wow! Fucking rude. I just saved your life and this is how you thank me? By calling me a witch? You asshole! I hope you get stabbed again!” She stands up abruptly, kicks your leg and stomps off. Good riddance. Hopefully this curse will melt off or something. You don’t know how hexes work.

You pat your chest again more gingerly and under your tunic to see the damage done by that bitchy witch. Wait... Why is your wound smaller than what it should be? It should have been at least a good sized gash, not like someone just poked you with an arrow tip. You lightly brush your leather gloves against the injury, remembering that it was indeed larger than the size of your hand previously. It still stings a bit, but not as numbingly as before. 

So that witch really did heal you. Fuck. Now you do feel like an asshole. That still doesn’t change the fact that she is still a witch. Whatever. You have some of your strength back to return to the castle and get some less unconventional treatment. Using the tree as support, you push yourself up and trudge back to the kingdom of Prospit.


	2. In Which Jade Returns From a Long Trip

The nerve of some people! You do something nice for them and basically save their lives and what do you get? Accused of being a witch. Hmph. Fucking rude. If that jerk knew who you were, he wouldn’t have treated you that way. Wait till John hears about this.

Speaking of which, you are about to see him after a long years of traveling basically by yourself and you are downright excited. There is a skip in your step as you enter the familiar courtyard leading to the golden palace. You ask were your brother is from one of the servants and you learn that he residing in the garden. Thanking them, you dash towards the lush palace garden were your brother should be.

Low and behold, there he is, just walking around. You shout his name and wave your arms enthusiastically. He looks up and his patent goofy grin is in place as he rushes towards you for a warm hug. You squeeze hard and nuzzle his neck. 

“Oh gosh! I missed you and Dad so much! I stayed away for waaaay too long!” John laughs and squeezes back.

“I missed you too Jade! You need to write more often!” They separate with your brother holding your shoulders and pouting at you. You giggle and push him away.

“Don’t try to guilt trip me! I have been busy with my spells and what not!” He smiles and pats your head. You instinctively pull down your hood slightly more so he doesn’t mess it up. Oh wait, that was a totally obvious move that you were hiding something under there. Maybe he didn’t notice? Your brother isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed-

“Hey Sis... Are you hiding something under your hood?” Fuck. Your face flares up as you shake your head vigorously. 

“Nope! Nope! No! Don’t know what you are talking about John! Ha ha! Get out of here! Why do you say that?” Smooth move Jade. He’s totally not suspicious now. Unfortunately, he doesn’t buy your flawless ruse and lifts up your hood, revealing two fluffy, white dog ears. You stare at your dress that you have been subconsciously crinkling with your hands, waiting for John to ridicule you. You can take it. You’re a big girl now. 

Instead, two curious hands grasp the protruding ears and begin to rub them. Surprising, your tufts are ticklish and you start to giggle and playfully try to push him away. He laughs as well and stares at you with a bit of concern.

“Jade. What happened? Have you been cursed by other... well... Witches...?” He says with worry. You shake your head and give him a reassuring smile.

“Oh it wasn’t anything like that. I actually... did this to myself... By accident mind you!” You shake your finger at him and he chuckles in relief. “I was experimenting on certain spells to enhance my senses, like sight, hearing and smelling you know? I got the other senses down right, but the ears... Well, I kind of went overboard on them. At least it works, but I look like a freak.” You hang your head in shame. So much for being a great spell castor. Your hood is placed back onto your head as your brother comfortingly pats the space between your ears.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself Sis! I’m just amazed that you can actually cast these spells. And look! This is an easy cover up! Just make sure to wear hoods from now on until we fix this ok?” He grins with his winning heir smile and you can’t help but smile back at him. A rustling catches your attention as your dog ear begins to twitch. Well that won’t get annoying. John must have noticed too because he pulls you lightly aside and greets the stranger. 

“Ah! Just the man I was looking for!” He welcomes the intruder gleefully as you get a good look at them- Wait! That’s the asshole you healed up just moments ago! What the fuck is he doing here? He must have been thinking the same thing because he has the same expression as you; confused disgust. 

Now that you’re in a more lighted area, you get a good look at the jerk. He is wearing a dark gray tunic highlighted with a bright shade of red. His burgundy cape drapes against his leather boots and black pants. A sickle is attached to his belt and an emblem that looks like dripping blood rests on his chest. His hair is a mess and looks like he just ruffled it or something and two nubby horns seem to hide in that chaos that is his hair. His red eyes seem to pierce through his gray skin and sort of clash with the yellow surrounded it.   
It’s weird. You haven’t met many trolls with that much bright red in his eyes. Okay. You have been staring into his eyes for too long, stay focused! John was talking.

“... So that’s why I want you to escort my sister so that nothing happens to her during her visit!” You and the troll both sputter in unison. Him? An escort? You’ve got to be kidding me!

“Now, your highness, I know you are our great leader and yada yada you are so fucking grand, but I honestly think that this is one of your worst ideas that your scum filled brain could come up with.” Wow! This ass hat is even rude to your brother! The heir to the kingdom! How can he get away with this? You are about to protest, but John’s laughter stops you.

“Now Karkat, be nice to our guest. She’s important to me and I don’t want her to get into any trouble! Right Jade?” He grins at you and how can you say no to those blue eyes? You cross your arms with a huff.

“Fine. I’ll be good... But you are no fun John!” You stick your tongue out at him in which he does the same to you. You both giggle as you follow the knight out of the palace garden.

“I’m just going to lead you to your ‘work station’ so you can get set up or whatever and I am just going leave you there. Understand? I don’t want a witch running around casting spells on everyone willy-fucking-nilly... which I will probably be cleaning up afterwards.” He rambles on about you being the daughter of Satan and what not, which you choose to ignore. If it’s going to be like this the whole time, then it’s going to be a very long season.


	3. In Which Karkat Thanks Jade

Your name is Karkat Vantas you are about to flip your shit. You have been assigned the unpleasant duty of babysitting a witch and needless to say you are not ecstatic about this. If John wasn’t the heir to the kingdom, you swear you would have punched him in his dorky face. How dare he put you in such a perilous situation! One wrong move and poof; you will be turned into a bug or some shit like that. 

Though, you have been kind of harsh on her and she did save your life. Oh shit. What if the fact that you are being a douche increases your chances of having a hex put on you? Smooth move Vantas. Anyway, the sooner you can dump this girl off to do her witch thing, the better. Luckily for you, her workshop is pretty close to the garden, you guess it’s there for convenience or whatever. You really could care less. 

You open the creaky door and guide the witch into the shop which looked more like a shed than anything else. Dust and cobwebs covered the room giving the assumption that it hasn’t been touched in years. Books and jars were scattered about and stray papers lay abandoned on the floor.

“Oh gosh.” The girl sounded aggravated as she nibbled her bottom lip with her overbite. “How could they leave my work place like this? Such a shame.” She shook her head as she began to pick up the papers. 

“Well, I guess I’ll leave you to your work. Lord knows I would be a bother.” You snort as you head towards the exit.

“Now wait a minute! Aren’t you going to help me straighten this place out?” She crossed her arms, kneeling on the dusty floor.

“I’m a knight, not a maid.” 

“Could have fooled me.” Her sudden smirk fueled your annoyance. Grumbling, you squat down and start grabbing the scattered papers. 

“There. That’s not so bad right?” She giggles as she places her pile of papers on the desk. You roll your eyes as you hold on to the blasted notes. As you hand her your collection, she opens her mouth and closes it tightly, like she stopped herself from saying something stupid. You sigh in frustration.

“Look. If you have something to say, say it!” You growl slightly, startling her.

“Right, well... I just wanted to say that it wouldn’t hurt you if you were nicer.” 

You can’t help but laugh mockingly. “I’m sorry, but being nice isn’t my thing in case you weren’t aware. I’d rather choke to death than be ‘courteous’ or ‘pleasant’ to anyone. Besides, I haven’t met one person I would even think to play nice with.” You scoff at her as she frowns.

“Fine then. If you are not going to play nice, then I won’t either.” She puts her hand on her hips with a huff and turns away, facing the desk now with piles of papers. “See if I heal you ever again.” 

“For god’s sake are you still going to bring that up?” You roll your eyes. Man this girl is irritating. 

“Yes I will keep bringing it up and I won’t stop mentioning it until you properly thank me!” She pouts as you sputter. Maybe if you do this one thing, she will leave you alone for good. How hard was it to thank someone? It will be quick and you can dash the fuck out of there. 

You mumble “Thanks.” and turn to face the door again.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you Karkat.” She teased. You shudder as you say it louder.

“Thanks.”

“For what? Please be more specific.” You can hear the grotesque smile in her voice.

“Thank you for healing my injury in the most asinine way you could think of! I greatly appreciate the spell you casted on my person and I hope this apology is good enough for you because I wish to never have the pleasure of seeing your stupid fucking face again! Is that specific enough for you?” You realized that you just ended up shouting and look over your shoulder to see Jade facing you again, now with a large smile on her face.

“Yes. I think that would do.” She turns back to her desk and brushes off a book enveloped in dust. “Now if you would be so kind as to leave? I would like to organize my books in private thank you.”

“Oh with pleasure Milady.” You roll your eyes as you bow scornfully and exit the shack. Now that you got that idiot witch out of your hair, you can now properly examine that flesh wound. 

Before you can escape into your chamber, John runs after you, flailing with little grace and shouting your name as an attempt to get your attention. These siblings are going to be the end of you.

“What is it Egbert? You have my full attention.”

A little out of breath, the heir halts, wheezing for air. “I’m glad I found you! I just wanted to inform you that we are having a ball this evening and I was wondering if you could accompany my sister.” You wonder then if it was worth it to strangle the prince to your kingdom.

“Milord... Are you just trying to hook me up with your sister or something? Because let me tell you now that isn’t going to fucking work!”

He gives you a gaping look and blushes. “No no no! That’s not what I meant at all Karkat! Quite the opposite actually!”

“Okay? Care to explain yourself?” You raise an eyebrow.

“I just thought that if she had an intimidating guy, like you, standing by her, nobody would try to make moves on her! I don’t want a ruffian taking advantage of Jade’s generosity. Please Karkat? Do this for me?” He adds insult to injury with his puppy dog eyes. Sighing, you nod your head in agreement.

“I can’t say no to the heir... And for fucks sake stop pouting at me I said yes god damnit!” Leaping for joy, he pulls you into a tight hug, forcing the air out of your lungs.

“Thank you Karkat! You are the best knight!”

“Yeah yeah and don’t you forget it.”

He waves goodbye as you bow formally, immediately regretting your agreement. Didn’t you just tell her that you didn’t want to see her face again? Well it’s not like you actually have to ‘go’ with her to the ball. You could just watch from afar and give death glares to anyone that is in a two foot radius. Yeah. That sounds like a better plan. You continue up the courtyard to your room to examine your injury that has become less numb than before.


End file.
